I Was Made Redundant During Covid-19, Here's What I Learnt ...
Perspective, gratitude and life’s full circle moments
Words: Jess Duncan
“During these dark and upsetting times we have had to adapt to a new way of life. As the days all blur into one, it’s easy to slip into an unhealthy state of mind. This virus has already changed so many lives and caused unbearable amounts of pain. I hope, if anything, I can help you feel less alone by sharing the impact COVID-19 has had on my life. Hopefully, this piece takes form as a relatable and positive part of your self-isolation …
Boredom, frustration, loneliness, and loss have become the norm for some. I have suffered from each but consider myself incredibly fortunate to have, so far, avoided any direct losses from the virus. My heart truly goes out to anyone who has, and I’m sure we will never understand the pain they are going through. Also, to the amazing medical staff who are risking their lives to help.
My story focuses on reflection and how the virus has put things into perspective. I think it’s easy to get caught up in the rush of modern life and take things and people for granted. It’s not intentional, it’s a side effect. I am in my late twenties and have always struggled to determine what my ‘dream job’ is. Over the past few years, I have become very frustrated with the fact that I’m not exceptionally good at anything. I am skilful and proud of my achievements, however, I was hoping to discover an incredible talent for something that would then decide my career. I have always loved being creative but have struggled with the uncertainty that comes with a profession in the arts- doubt tends to suffocate my creativity. I enjoy writing and taking inspiration from talented artists. In the past, I have put enormous amounts of pressure on myself and have often become frustrated as to why I haven’t produced something extraordinary. This of course isn’t realistic or helpful.
After finishing my degree, like many graduates, I was then faced with a huge empty hole where I thought my future would be. I opened job site after job site, registered and searched for ‘writing jobs’, trying to phrase the words differently each time to find anything slightly related. After reading and applying for so many unrealistic roles, that all required experience, I found myself regretting life decisions that had taken me down this career path. Then everything changed. Last year, I saved up some money and travelled. Secretly, I had hoped to figure out my ambitions on the trip. This did not happen, but I had a new sense of confidence and drive to experience new opportunities. On reflection, this experience has helped me achieve my new mindset.
“As the death toll rose, everything began to feel very out of control again. Then, I became a key worker, and the experience changed my life.”
Last year was the best and worst year of my life. I saw glorious sights and then ended the year with an unbearable loss. So, when this year started it was safe to say I was ready to begin a long healing process. It’s exhausting feeling so many intense emotions at opposite ends of the spectrum. After experiencing a great loss, I was then to receive the breakthrough I felt I had been waiting for. Just before Christmas a company had offered me a position that genuinely excited me. Once again, I was thrown to the other end of the scale, picked myself up and was ready to give this wonderful opportunity my all. I had a chance to try and pursue a role in the creative industry.
Just over 2 months in, the virus starts to make headlines and I am made redundant. The virus had already taken its toll on so many businesses and the pandemic was becoming extremely scary. As the death toll rose, everything began to feel very out of control again. Then, I became a key worker, and the experience changed my life. I could not have predicted that by doing this I would be able to think clearly about what I wanted. I thought about my happiness, what drives me, and I tried to be honest with myself. Just because you spend a lot of years loving something, does not mean you have to pursue it forever. I started to appreciate how truly lucky I am to have experienced such wonderful jobs and to have met such amazing, successful people.
I’m still here, living with grief and uncertainty but I am also going to work and helping in this time of crisis. I feel grateful for everything and everyone. I write and am creative but do this freely and only when I genuinely want to. I am thinking about the future, but am not going to regret the past as I have learnt so much and have acquired so many skills that I am so proud of. So, if nothing else, this virus has provided me with experiences that I can learn from, and a realisation that my future career isn’t what I originally thought it would be, and that’s ok. Also, that I am still incredibly young, and although the pressures of modern life can sometimes make us feel older, I still have so much time to figure things out. For all those feeling hurt and confused during these strange times, you’re not alone, and things can change when you least expect it. Through helping as a key worker, I now know that this should be a starting point when thinking about a career. Helping makes me happy, so I intend on finding a job where I can make a difference.”