How Recording One Second Of Each Day Helps Me Stay Positive in 2020
Notes on the passing of time and the happy reminders amongst our social media archives …
“It’s an understatement to say that this year has been difficult for many of us. There has been huge change and upheaval for a number of reasons, and compared to a lot of people, my year really hasn’t been that bad. Unfortunately, comparison of struggles never works. If you’ve ever heard someone try to claim they’re more tired than you, then you’ll understand. Everyone is going through their own trouble and difficulties, and will continue to regardless of world events.
My Google Photos account reminded me in October of some photos I took a year prior that sprung to mind memories of a difficult time. It’s hard to describe the October I had last year without using curse words; I was sleeping on my sofa at times, I stayed with my sister for a week, went home for a period, and a lot of my stuff ended up in storage boxes or the bin.
“It’s easy to feel like I’ve not moved, or like I’ve swapped one lot of problems for another. The reason being because I’m looking at the big picture and seeing time as simply chunks of one overwhelming feeling instead of looking at the smaller, day-to-day things”
Seeing those pictures, I was initially relieved that I was out of that situation. I have moved house and once the first lockdown eased I was able to replace a lot of belongings and start to decorate a new room. I’m back to sleeping in a bed and have largely overcome a lot of the anxiety and behaviours I picked up in that time, even if not all of them. My next emotion was slight disappointment, however. It was October again and although one struggle had largely been overcome, I was still having a pretty bad time. Maybe October just isn’t my month.
In the year since, I struggled more with having few belongings available to me. I’ve had to make new friends and build relationships with new housemates during the lockdowns. I struggled immensely with my mental health during the first lockdown, followed by a pretty sizable heartbreak. Then there’s everything we’re all struggling with; I miss my parents and would like to see my grandparents at some point, as I haven’t since before March. Equally I’m pretty tired of staring at the same four walls, and frequently feel as though I’m sliding ever-so-slowly toward a quarter life crisis. 2020, huh?
It’s easy to feel like I’ve not moved, or like I’ve swapped one lot of problems for another. The reason being because I’m looking at the big picture and seeing time as simply chunks of one overwhelming feeling instead of looking at the smaller, day-to-day things. Allow me to explain a little more. I can see the last year as rubbish and call it a day, or I can look at some of the happy things or lovely memories I have from the last year, and recognise that it’s not as simple as calling a whole year bad.
“We’re always moving and changing, and when it feels like all the days are the same, you can use photos and videos or even old messages and diaries or jars full of happy memories to remember that.”
So how do you remember a nice dinner, or spending downtime with a loved one, or a reassuring phone call so much time later? It might sound frivolous or oversimplified but I use an app called 1SE where you film one second of your day, every day. I also use my Instagram Stories regularly, and the ability to look back on both of these helps me a great deal. It probably sounds strange to look back through your own social media posts but I know I can’t be the only one who does it.
I’ll look back at my archive on Instagram and laugh at the funny posts I shared this time last year, or I’ll look at the places I got a coffee or went for a walk or engaged with friends over the last few months. With the 1SE app, I upload each month’s compilation of clips to my Instagram as well, so I can also scroll through and rewatch seconds from my life. I’ve been doing it since I moved to London, and although a lot of videos are filled with clips of my dinner or a show I’m watching or something slightly mundane, they’re also dotted with clips of my friend’s and family’s faces, smiling at the camera or doing something silly.
I’m an avid social media user, so I know this works better for me than some, but it really helps with my perspective on things. I can recognise that I’ve lost a lot this year and that I’ve struggled a lot and have had to work harder than I would like in myriad ways, but I have also made new friends, discovered new places, spent time with my family when I could, and learned a lot. All of this makes me happy and lucky and much more aware than we’re never as stagnant as we feel. We’re always moving and changing, and when it feels like all the days are the same, you can use photos and videos or even old messages and diaries or jars full of happy memories to remember that. You just need to find the way that works for you.”
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To read more from Briony you can find her on Twitter or Instagram at @brionyish or via her platform Anthem on Instagram at @anthemonline or her website www.femanthem.wordpress.com.