A Big Move To The Big Apple: Thriving In A Move Abroad
Whilst for some of us, moving to a new city or starting a new job are overwhelming thoughts in themselves, the stakes get much higher when you think about doing both of those things thousands of miles away from loved ones, in a different country and continent entirely. If the new decade approaching has you reassessing what you want from your career and considering a big move, Rachel has tested the waters for you, and in this post will be sharing her tips and experiences (the good the bad and the ugly) in upping sticks and moving to New York City …
“Wanderlust has been one of my key personality traits for as long as I can remember. The itch to leave my home country was one I was well aware of long before I could answer the age old question "what do you want to be when you grow up". Therefore, after returning to Ireland from a study abroad year in New York, I was certain I would be on the first plane out of Dublin following my graduation. However, the world, especially the realm of visas, had another plan for me.
The months after I graduated, I somehow found myself in a full-time managerial position at what had been my side hustle whilst I studied. I figured a few months of saving couldn't hurt as I planned to move to one of the most expensive cities in the world. But month rolled into month, and I was stuck. I had been talking about leaving for over six months, yet the only thing that had changed in that time was my focus. I was still determined to leave, but kept pushing off the necessary steps. The visa process is daunting for anyone, however, because I was from Ireland, I had a once in a lifetime opportunity only afforded to graduates the year after they graduate. As I began to see my anniversary slowly approach, a fire was relit under me, and I sprang into action. I knew what I wanted, now I just had to figure out a way to get it.
With very few Irish connections let alone American in my desired field, I was blindly applying to jobs. I began the process familiar to almost every recent graduate of spending any spare time finding jobs that excited me, spending hours tailoring my cover letter, only to be rejected time and time again. It was a tale as old as time scenario, I didn't have connections in my desired field with the added hinderance of applying from a different time zone on the other side of the world. However, one random morning, I sent off THE application, and the CEO responded almost instantly. What followed was a very candid back and forth, weeks of emails had whittled away all of my false yet hopeful pretences and I realised that being upfront with my situation was the best course of action. Yet for some miraculous reason, he agreed to take a chance on me. The next week we had a skype interview, despite the dodgy line, and I was sent an edit test to return within the week.
The next few days and weeks passed by in a blur. I was offered the position, however I had to initially begin working remotely from Ireland, remember that fun little thing called a visa I mentioned earlier? My heart was so certain though, my eyes set on the bright lights of New York, that nothing was going to stop me from getting there. That was all I focused on for months - getting there. I gave very little thought to what was actually going to happen once I achieved my goal, which apparently is much more common than most would think!
Like many generations before us, mine is one that has seen very few options other than to leave our home countries in pursuit of better opportunities. For some, this can be a painful, while for others, such as myself, it can be all we have ever dreamed of. Regardless, of which category you may fall into, if you find yourself trying to pack your whole life into one suitcase with only your own drive and a job offer to motivate you – just know, it is going to be one of the hardest and best things you will ever do for yourself and your career. If you are reading this, I will assume that you either already find yourself in an alien city, or are thinking about taking the leap, or you're my mum - hi mum! Whether you leave due to lack of professional options, a severe case of wanderlust, or like me, both, the fear and excitement are bound to come in waves.
I left my home a year ago, and though it has been one of the best years of my life thus far, there are certain trials and tribulations that I was forced to go through. Some of which I surprised myself by handling gracefully, but the vast majority of them took time, stress, embarrassment, and energy that I believe I should save for the next person, if I can. There are the practical, seemingly obvious, hurdles you will have to overcome- finding an apartment, setting up a local bank account, and figuring out how taxes work. These are all things you can’t avoid, but are easily figured out with a simple google search. They are the things you will understandably focus on at first, but once you have solved these issues – that’s when your new life will truly begin.
“If you aren’t building a life for yourself in this new place, how can you honestly give your job the forethought and dedication needed for you to grow and excel?”
One of the first and most prevalent stumbling blocks you will face is finding a balance between where you are and those you left behind. In a world that is now run by the highlight reels of social media, it can be tough for your family and friends at home to understand that you’re not on a long-term holiday. Of course, you don’t want to Instagram your daily commute or post about the excel sheet that might have kept you up at night for a week. You will want to show the fun and exciting things you are seeing and doing on your days off, but this can make it difficult, especially for parents, to recognize as something you are not doing every day. One thing that I found equally helpful and hard to do, was to call them when things aren’t going so great. Let your family know you had a bad day in the office or tell your best friend about the terrible date you went on. It might be difficult to admit that your life isn’t picture perfect, especially if they are on the other side of the world and can do little to help. However, I promise, it will make you feel better to vent and it will show them how hard you are working but that they are still needed in your life. Nobody likes to feel left behind, especially those who love us the most, so let them be a part of your new life, through the highs and the lows. Who knows, they might give you the slice of wisdom you need to fix whatever issue you are dealing with!
Despite the magic of Skype and Facetime, often when you leave your home to follow the career of your dreams, you will find yourself in a city, or country, completely unknown to you; one in which you have very few tangible contacts. Throwing yourself into your job can feel both inevitable and safe. But, those first few months are crucial to establish a healthy balance that allows you to both excel in the career you obviously are passionate enough about to uproot your life for, but also to prevent burnout and isolation. It is crucial that you feel at home in your new surroundings, which in all honesty you won’t be able to do if you are working around the clock. If you aren’t building a life for yourself in this new place, how can you honestly give your job the forethought and dedication needed for you to grow and excel? If you see where you are physically and emotionally as a temporary stop along the way, then it only makes sense that that mindset would trickle into your work ethic. Make those roots; buy a plant, decorate the walls in your apartment, find friends, go on dates. It may sound counter-productive to focus so much on your life outside of your work, but trust me, it will only benefit you and your career in the long run.
Finally, know that you will have a different perspective to most of your team, and while I know you don’t want your ‘foreignness’ to define you – don’t shy away from it either. Use your experiences and background to better yourself and your team the same way everyone else hopefully is, you’ll just be doing it with an accent. I fought this for too long, I tried to adapt to what I thought was the New York or American way of thinking and doing things. I ended up selling myself short and not delivering to the best of my ability. Rather than give my opinion in a meeting, I would sit quietly, terrified I would sound funny or not have the correct context for a specific topic. Eventually, thanks to the guidance and support of my current team and boss, I found my voice again, but I have spoken to so many ex-pats who have gone through a similar phase. So, speak up in the office meetings, yes some wise guy might make a joke about the way you pronounce a certain word the first few times, but most of the people in that room honestly couldn’t care less how you sound – they are more interested in what you say. Also, that guy will look like the idiot, not you. Remember you were hired for a reason, and to be perfectly frank it must be a pretty great reason. The fact that your boss probably had to have a weird skype interview with you, and sign some immigration papers they didn’t completely understand is proof of how much they value you – and that was all before you even began to officially work for them. They could have hired someone who would be easier, someone who thought, acted, sounded like them – but they didn’t. They chose you. And you chose them. So act like it.”
-
Thank you so much to Rachel for contributing this incredibly honest and realistic look at moving abroad the glamorisation that can sometimes come from securing your dream job in a bustling city. To keep up with Rachel’s journey, you can find her on Instagram at @racheldwyer.