Feeling Deeply Is Magical: Here’s How To Realise It …
Getting to know your sensitivity and knowing the strength of your superpower …
“You’re too sensitive”, “you should toughen up”, “why are you so upset about this? It’s not a big deal”. Do those phrases sound familiar to you?
I’ve personally heard them a lot. For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me, why couldn’t I be like other people and react to things in a “normal” way? It took me 26 years to discover that I was in fact a highly sensitive person (HSP) which means that my nervous system is naturally predisposed to process information and stimuli on a deeper level. Suddenly everything made sense. I managed to understand why my emotions were sometimes so incredibly overwhelming, why certain sounds or smells made me react so intensely, why I needed moments of silence to recharge, why I felt traumatised after watching violent scenes in films, why I sometimes cried when I listened to songs I liked without being sad.
Although it was a relief to find out I was an HSP, I still thought it was something that I had to change because society wants us to be strong people who hide their emotions and I wanted to fit in. I quickly realised it wouldn’t work because the truth is, you don’t become a HSP, you are born a HSP and will stay a HSP for life. So if highly sensitive people can’t be less sensitive, maybe we should change people’s beliefs about sensitivity?
I thought about this a lot in 2020 and learnt a few things that can help my HSP friends out there:
Educate yourself
By learning more about HSP, you get to know yourself much better, you can also inform people around you and adapt your environment to your own sensitivity and your own needs. Get to know your insecurities and what triggers your sensitivity, list them if you need, there are fantastic books and websites that can help you with that, educating yourself is so empowering. I would advise to learn more about empathy as well, HSP’s are often affected by other people’s emotions, they can absorb positive and negative moods coming from other people, learning what emotions are yours and letting go of the emotions of others is also very important to avoid feeling drained.
Heal and be kind to yourself
If I had to pick my “word of the year” it would be HEALING. HSP can be their own harshest critics which can be really hard at times. I suppose you’ve heard this phrase “to be loved by others, you need to love yourself first”, as cheesy as it sounds, it is true, and to make people love and accept your sensitivity, you need to love it first. Fall in love with your sensitivity and take care of it by taking care of yourself. It is a long process as we’ve often convinced ourselves that our sensitivity was something we should hide, change or even be ashamed of. There are a few great things you can do to be kinder to yourself and heal. Journaling is an amazing way to process the emotions of the day (or emotions you felt ages ago) and avoid overthinking, you can even write kind letters to past versions of yourself to process things that you felt in the past. Taking some time for yourself daily is so important, you can listen to songs you like in a quiet place, invest in noise cancelling headphones so sounds aren’t so overwhelming, list what makes you feel good, what calms you, what feels good for your senses and your emotions and add some of those things to your day. Create a slow morning or evening routine for yourself, analyse what makes you feel overwhelmed and how you can change the conditions around you to create an environment where you can feel good.
Setting boundaries is also necessary, HSP often say yes when they want to say no, although it is a good thing to get out of your comfort zone, setting boundaries is essential- choose what works for you to balance how you feel and recharge. HSP are more likely to develop anxiety and depression, so try and be careful and notice what makes you feel drained and anxious. We obviously can’t avoid stressful moments all of the time, which is why taking care of yourself the rest of the time is vital to maintain that balance.
Speak about your sensitivity
Sometimes people have a lot of feelings and emotions they don’t talk about because they are afraid to- you’re here to break the cycle. If you become transparent about the way you feel, people will get to know you better and maybe try and help you feel less overwhelmed. They might even open up about the way they feel which can help build healthier relationships and it will inspire them to do the same with other people. Not everyone needs to know you are a HSP but if you can be open about the way you feel it will encourage others to change their behaviour and to be more compassionate. We need to normalise speaking about feelings and emotions, that’s what makes us humans, your empathy and sensitivity are needed in this world. Of course not everyone will understand the way you feel and might lead you to believe that the problem comes from you, but just know that it says more about them than it does about you and it doesn’t make your emotions and feelings any less valid. There is bravery in being sensitive and sharing it with the world.
You can be sensitive and strong
Being highly sensitive is not the same as being weak and this is so crucial to understand. HSP have a different approach to their environment, but, if well managed, the stimulations aren’t so overwhelming and HSP can show the strengths that come with their heightened sensitivity. HSP are hard workers, conscientious, detail orientated and they notice things other people may miss. They thrive in fields that require deep processing such as art and science. They are very creative, follow their gut feeling and are very passionate. They also enjoy meaningful interactions and deep conversations which make them great friends, partners or colleagues. Albert Einstein and Nicole Kidman are HSP, they used their sensitivity as a strength in their work and built amazing careers.
Enjoy your superpower
Being a HSP is a gift, enjoy all the beautiful sides of it, allow yourself to be deeply moved by what is around you, share deep conversations with people, cry when you find something beautiful, love deeply, be immensely happy, notice the details that no one sees, don’t be afraid of feeling the way you feel, you are not too sensitive, don’t try to appear less sensitive to make others feel comfortable.
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Thank you so much to the wonderful Noemie for sharing this gorgeous piece! If you’d like to chat or read more from Noemie, you can find her on Instagram at @emymarielucy or email her at peter.noemie@gmail.com.