My Journey To Becoming a People-Oriented Introvert- How The Pandemic Healed My Social Anxiety

“I know the choice of verb in the title may seem like a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t fit. The pandemic and global health crisis of 2020 (and ongoing …) meant socialising was more often than not off the cards when it came to protecting others from getting Coronavirus. For many, an enforced lockdown and then being thrust into the world again made social anxiety skyrocket, with occasions sometimes increasing from what they would have been pre pandemic. But in my case, the opposite seemed to happen.  

As we heard the news of the first lockdown in March 2020, I was pretty happy not to see people for a while as an anxious, family-orientated  homebody. I had just finished my uni dissertation. A few assignments left to do, but I had the comfort of home and help of lecturers on Zoom if need be to complete them (technology is great). All of my family together at home for board game nights and chocolate snacks. Plenty of time with the only thing on my to-do list being to watch all the movies and TV shows that had been on my list forever- something I had wished to be able to do as a career years before we had even heard of coronavirus as it’s my favourite hobby.  

But little did I know that months of being in isolation away from the world would have its effects, even if I thought I was perfectly content in my own  bubble. Little did I know my anxiety would increase as I had even more time alone with my mind and thoughts and I ended up facing challenges in managing and even understanding them.  

Then some of the restrictions eased in July 2020. Re-opening of pubs and restaurants. The once-deserted city centre slowly trickling with ants of  people more courageous to go outdoors and socialise at a distance. Feels like the virus is “over”.  

Followed by more restrictions introduced in September 2020…another lockdown in November 2020…followed by another lockdown in January  2021 after the hustle and bustle of Christmas. Just over a whole year of disruption to normality and socialising as human beings.  

But as someone who had developed social anxiety from being bullied at school, when we were presented with these small opportunities to venture out and socialise at a distance, I chose not to. I was relieved not to have to force myself to go out. I was very wary of the virus and wanted to keep my family and myself safe, but I may have used this as too much of an excuse to avoid socialising.  

When it came to visiting my local coffee shop for outings with my mum urging me to venture out of the house after a long period of isolation, I just  did not want to. But there was also a small part of me that did feel a twinge of wanting to go out after being cooped up for so long, and actually getting bored of watching movies and TV shows all day. Who knew! We also brought home a dog in lockdown and I desperately wanted to take him on adventures that I probably would have frequently done pre-pandemic.  

So we went for our hot chocolate and latte trips. We saw family friends. I was even okay to take our dog for walks without a family member with me as the outdoor visits increased; I didn’t feel as anxious when walking by myself as I now had a companion and my confidence had boosted from  these rare social gatherings that made up for the past few years.  

So how did the pandemic help my social anxiety? Well, getting a transformed things, as I spoke to more like-minded people (dog moms) on park visits and walks and had the courage to get out of the house more. 

But the main point really is I realised from lockdown that working on my mental health - even if it was just processing and understanding my feelings  in my head as I had to sit with them with so much free time on my hands -  actually gave me more confidence in social situations once I started  venturing out more. I started to learn more about myself and had awareness of my mental health which I had never thought about at school and at uni.  

It was in learning more about myself that I started to feel more confident in myself- confidence that had been knocked out of me from being targeted at school which led me to losing hope in humans as good people. I had more conviction when in conversation and didn’t feel as awkward as I normally would have been. I did many mental “double-takes”!  

The pandemic brought us all closer together as we started to have even more empathy for each other, and I started to see that people really aren’t that scary. That although there are sadly some not nice people in the world, there are plenty of people who are really nice and kind that make up for it.  

I also learnt the distinction between having social anxiety and being an introvert. This was key in learning more about myself as a person and  whether I genuinely wanted to see people or not. I found out that I did actually like to hang out with people sometimes, even if I definitely have that  introverted side of me that enjoys alone time too. Before this, my social anxiety was making me think that I was a full-on hermit and that fear of not seeing people led to me only doing solo activities. But really, I’ve now learnt that I’m a people-oriented introvert.  

Humans are a social species. We strive for social connection, and the innateness of this that we all have wired into us as human beings was reaching out to me after those many months without seeing people. And during the process, I connected back to myself too.”