Anxiety: A Pandemic within the COVID-19 Pandemic
“It’s a lot for us all to deal with and it’s nothing to be ashamed of if you are struggling.”
Words: Alicia Riley of @thefeminineenergyclub
“In March 2020 hours away from going into a national lockdown in the UK, I remember thinking to myself: “This isn’t going to be good for my anxiety”. In hindsight I have always been an anxious person, even as a young child I had negative thoughts and unnecessary worries. I found it difficult to have sleepovers at friends’ houses as I would be so fixated on the idea of being away from my family and something terrible happening to them. However, I only know this as anxiety now as in my early 20s it became a real problem. I was woken up one night in the middle of a very severe panic attack; at the time I didn’t know this was a panic attack. I thought I was going to die from a heart attack at the age of 20, of course I didn’t but for a long time after that I was in denial that this was anxiety because of how physical my symptoms were. I have probably experienced every physical symptom of anxiety from intense nausea to bizarre changes to my vision to terrifying heart palpations to pins and needles all over my face. It is so hard to believe that this is anxiety; you google every symptom longing for an answer, desperate to have a diagnosis that can be fixed quickly, back and forth to your GP begging for tests to find what is happening to you. On top of the physical side of anxiety, there are the petrifying effects it can have on your mind. Feeling like you are losing touch with reality, ruminating on all the bad experiences you have ever had and playing them on a loop in your head or feeling that if you don’t stop worrying something bad will happen to you. It consumed my life for so long and stole what were supposed to be the most freeing and exciting years of my existence. This cycle will go on until you finally accept that this is anxiety and start to seek help for it.
“A study from the medical journal Lancet have estimated that as a consequence of the pandemic cases of anxiety have increased by 76m globally, a rise of 26%.”
Despite my concerns and much to my own surprise, I seemed to cope well in the first lockdown. It was almost like all those years of intense worry about the future had prepared me for this. Of course, I missed my friends and family immensely and was very concerned about their health and wellbeing, but I had kind of isolated myself in the past of my own accord due to my poor mental health, so it was a familiar feeling. I still don’t know if that was a good or bad thing. What I did notice was that a lot of people around me and beyond were starting to experience anxiety, many for the first time. A study from the medical journal Lancet have estimated that as a consequence of the pandemic cases of anxiety have increased by 76m globally, a rise of 26%. We cannot be surprised by this as we have gone through a collective experience of an unprecedented (sorry I know you have heard that word a lot) global turmoil. Yet if you are going through mental health problems for the first time there is a lack of support made available.
The charity Mind describes “Anxiety is what we feel when we are worried, tense or afraid – particularly about things that are about to happen, or which we think could happen in the future. Anxiety is a natural human response when we feel that we are under threat. It can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.” A lot of the time we are told with anxiety our worries are excessive and unnecessary, which they can be, and we forget to be in the present moment because we are so scared of what could happen to us. However, the last nearly two years have shown us that the unthinkable has happened. We have indeed been ‘under threat’ in so many ways so the statistics we have seen above speak for themselves. As time has gone on, the anxiety I was very much concerned of at the beginning of the pandemic has caught up with me. I beat myself up because I thought I had done so well to escape it but recently I have really taken a step back to look what has happened that could cause me to feel the way I do. And I strongly believe that I am not alone in this. The pandemic has taken so many twists and turns it is hard to keep up. We have gone back to what we have known as ‘normal’ life, but it feels far from that to me; going into a shop and walking around feels so alien to me, sitting on public transport or going to a club is like it is happening to me for the first time. It feels to me like two years of my life has magically just flown past and I am now trying to live like I once did. Everything seems so uncertain, and we are expected to absorb all of this without any support. As I am writing this, I have COVID-19 for the first time like many people reading this will and have gone through Christmas without seeing many of my family and friends or leaving the house. It’s a lot for us all to deal with and its nothing to be ashamed of if you are struggling.
“Create your own self-care toolbox for when you’re feeling partially anxious or low.”
If you are experiencing anxiety or any other mental health problems for the first time you are not alone. You will never be alone because there are so many people out there who are going through the exact same as you. I am one of them. So, I would like to share some of the things that helped me over the years and what I have learned to support my mental health in the hopes it may help you too:
Speak to someone about how you are feeling. And by this, I mean anyone. That could be a loved one, a trusted friend, your GP, a therapist, a mental health charity such as MIND or the Samaritans. There will always be some who will be willing to listen to you and once you have shared most often you will start to feel better. Even if it is just a little bit for now.
Limit your news intake. It can start to feel so overwhelming and scary so sometimes it can wait.
Create your own self-care toolbox for when you’re feeling partially anxious or low. This could be anything that makes you feel good. It could be listening to your favourite music, yoga, meditation, going for a walk in nature, doing your favourite form of exercise, or taking a lovely hot bath. Most importantly this involves slowing down and looking within, what do I need right now? What would help me right now?
Seek community. There is so much information out there to support you through this time. There are amazing charities like MIND who I have mentioned who do fantastic work. There are pages on Instagram and blogs that you may be able to identify with. Podcasts have always been a great source of information for me; Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place is fantastic for keeping the conversation of mental health going.”
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If you can relate to Alicia’s experience, check out her mental health, wellbeing and self care Instagram @thefeminineenergyclub for more!