Summer Reflections and The Pressure of 'YOLO' Culture
Summertime sadness IRL …
A look at Instagram and comparison culture during the season it’s hardest to combat FOMO.
Photograph: Lucy Williams
Summer is my favourite season. Like so many others, the warm evenings, bare legged outfits, plentiful supply of Pimms and pink gin, the promise of road trips, beach days, bbqs and Wimbledon are enough to make me feel giddy each year when the temperature rises above 22 degrees. But this year feels different. Summer is behind us, and instead of yearning for just a few more sandal appropriate weather days, I’m instead feeling a sense of overwhelming relief. Perhaps it’s due to the inconsolable sadness I’ve felt in going through a break up during what would ordinarily be my most treasured time of the year, but more likely, it’s been the presence of social media and the pressure for summer to live up to the highs of Grease, Mama Mia and Dirty Dancing that have left me woeful at what I didn’t manage to achieve this season.Being a summer baby also plays a factor here, with the giddy excitement of a birthday approaching in my youth meaning August in particular was always a time to look forward to. Is it simply the unavoidable nature of growing older and battling through the work, relationships and life commitments of each friend before accepting that celebrating a birthday with all of your gal pals surrounding you is a feat too hard to achieve? Possibly. But despite what might seem like a ‘glass half empty’ outlook, the past few months haven’t been all doom and gloom. I’ve travelled to both Rome and Santorini, turned 22, been to a festival and concert to see some of my favourite artists and created some amazing memories with the friends that have been around me- so what is it about summer 2019 that has me feeling so painfully inadequate?
During the summer evenings of my youth, time would likely have been filled with sleepovers, walks to the park,or trips into town to obsess over £2 pearl necklaces in Primark- we all had one didn’t we?! In contrast, growing older has seen less of the innocent village meetups and more ‘scheduled 3 months in advance dinners’ to slot in around busy schedules. And with that has come more time alone, and more time on social media.
Instagram really is a blessing and a curse. I love how easily I’ve been able to share and look back on memories through those few little coloured squares, singing my favourite songs overlaid with a starry filter on Stories, or making new friends through the like minded women also sharing their day-to-day. And whilst Instagram Stories are the easiest way for me to while away the hours of my free time, they’re also the aspect of social media that leaves me most insecure- seeing others living their ‘best lives’ and making the most of being young and the magic that is so often associated with your twenties. The presence of ‘YOLO’ attitudes and the idea of wasted time is something that affects me so deeply, and it’s this FOMO (it seems I love an acronym) that has caused the summer of 2019 to be occupied with a sense of unfulfillment and worry. What is it about time in recent years that has left so many of us feeling that the months and years fly by so quickly now, and how can we feel rewarded and content with our lives when social media is constantly showing us everything we could be doing? This level of comparison was near impossible before the rise of social media, but in the age of the instant, it’s never been easier to compare your existence to those around you, no matter the differences in age, income or circumstance.
The pressure of ‘you only live once’ culture is one I’ve battled for some time now, but in the absence of a relationship I relied so heavily upon, it seems to have made itself more known than ever during the past few months. I’m sure I can’t be the only slightly introverted soul that battles worry surrounding making the most of youth and the supposed ‘freedom’ that comes with being in your twenties, but seriously, does ANYONE actually feel this all-hailed joy and reckless abandon?! Because if you ask me, my brain is likely going through a cycle of worrying about my 5 year career plan, student finance repayments and desperately trying to remember if I have in fact taken the B12 supplements I spent a small fortune on in Holland and Barrett. Is anyone in their twenties actually freely diving into unknown waters in Mykonos without a worry in the world (I’ll blame Mamma Mia for that one) or road tripping New Zealand in a converted campervan?! Whilst I know the answer is logically, yes, some people are incredibly fortunate to be living their ‘best life’ fantasies, I know in my mind rationally that there will be more like me worrying about eating their 5 a day and how to battle climate change over breakfast than not.
So I’m glad that summer is over. I’m so ready to embrace the cooler weather and ‘at home time’ that I felt so inadequate indulging in when the sun was shining. I want autumn and winter (and dare I mention ….. Christmas) to be populated with so many more plans than my past few months, and I want to start looking ahead to next year and how I’ll overcome these irrational worries to live the best version of my life without the fear of ‘what ifs’. I want to start saving more and splurging less (I’m clearly still a student at heart if my idea of a splurge is my Greggs vegan sausage roll addiction or occasional 20% off ASOS order) to plan and book and dream up all the things I felt I so desperately wanted from 2019, and truly live in 2020, with no focus on the past or future, just being happy, content and fulfilled in the present.
So I’m trying to rid my vocabulary of ‘YOLO’, of worrying about the things that maybe just aren’t meant for me, of Instagram comparison and Stories envy. I’m looking forwards only, to a calendar filled with friends, adventures and everything I want from my twenties, unapologetically.