Why We Shouldn’t Feel Defined By Our Jobs- Now More Than Ever.

“A friend of mine was made redundant. With the current climate I’m sure you’ve heard the same – a friend, a family member, maybe you.

And similarly to some of you, she’s struggling. Her confidence has taken a knock and she said to me, “it’s hard to not feel my job defines me, so without my job who am I?”

Without your job who are you? It’s easy to forget but it’s so important to remember your job does not define the person you are – the fact you’re funny, positive, smart, reliable, honest, driven, considerate, however you would describe yourself. You are still all of these things with or without your job. Your job is something you do, one piece of the pie that makes up your life. This is in addition to anything else important to you – family, friends, hobbies, me-time, health, the list goes on.

If you are struggling right now, remind yourself – ‘my job does not define me’. Repeat that to yourself daily to start shifting the internal dialogue. If we say something to ourselves enough, something magical starts to happen and we actually start believing it. When you notice yourself thinking things like, “what am I doing with my life” or “I’m nothing without my job”, repeat to yourself again – “my job does not define me”.

Create a list of 10 words you would use to describe yourself. Remember, whether you have your job or not, you are still the same person. These words still describe you. Have this list somewhere visible in your room, to remind yourself of who you truly are. Or in the notes on your phone, to look at when the negative thoughts creep in. And if the negative thoughts seem to be taking over, add a proof point for each word – an example which clearly shows it’s true. It’s much harder for your brain to say it isn’t then. 

“If you have been made redundant, the dust will settle and you will find a new job. But remember that job does not define you either, and neither will the next one.”

Write down your life pie – what does each slice represent? What is important to you in life? Sometimes we focus too much on one area, for example our job, and forget the other areas that make up our life. How could you shift some focus from your job to one of these other areas? Is there a new hobby you want to start or do you feel like having some more me-time and reading a new book? Maybe it’s the perfect opportunity to connect with friends or family. Make a note of at least 3 achievable actions which you can do this week. Put a reminder in your phone or calendar to actually do them. Also remember – key word here being achievable – there is no point in making grand plans but never actually doing them, completing a smaller goal will be much more rewarding.

Unfortunately, with the current climate, more people may be made redundant. The unpredictability is the perfect reason to start doing this work now. Whether you have a job or not, you still don’t need to be defined by it. And if you have been made redundant, the dust will settle and you will find a new job. But remember that job does not define you either, and neither will the next one.

Friend update – she is doing much better, and has shifted the focus onto a new love for pottery, whilst she continues the job hunt.”

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Thank you so much to the wonderful Elyssa of Elyssa Desai Coaching for contributing such a comforting and insightful piece! To read more from her and learn about her transformational coaching service you can find her via her website or on Instagram at @elyssadesaicoaching.