I Left Everything Behind and Moved to Paris For Two Months: This Is What I Learned
A tale of true spontaneity and saying yes even when it feels most scary …
Words and photography: Marta Carvalho
“When my boyfriend asked me if I’d go with him on a potential three-month business trip to Paris, I said yes, without believing it would ever happen. It was one of those answers you give without considering money or logistics, because the whole situation sounds so distant and hypothetical; it was like he’d just asked me if I’d consider eventually, maybe, one day living in Paris for a few months, and the answer to that was a resounding yes.
It was the end of 2019, and my life was positively upside down. I’d just quit my job to launch a small business, I had no clue what I was doing and I felt scared, excited, and ready to do whatever it took to make sure leaving a steady career behind had been the right decision all along. The imposter syndrome was hitting me hard - six months later, I still feel like I shouldn’t be getting away with doing something I love, but I was living one day at a time and doing the best I could with the little knowledge I had.
Then, a few days before Christmas, it was confirmed: my boyfriend was going to Paris for three months, whether I joined him or not, and he was leaving in January. My business, a small online vintage store, had its own launch planned for that month, so there were a few things to be considered: if I went with him, I would have to bring all my stock along, and launch and ship products from France for the next three months.
“Some of the best moments in your life will probably happen when you feel a mix of fear and excitement, but decide to do it anyway”
This is what I told him when he wanted to know what was worrying me about the trip. But the truth was that temporarily moving to Paris (and being able to take my business with me, free of schedules or obligations) seemed just too good to be true. I couldn’t accept the fact that there wasn’t a catch, a disadvantage, something that forced me not to go or made things a little more complicated than they actually were. I felt the imposter syndrome attacking me once again - who did I think I was, moving to Paris like that? And why did I deserve it, of all people?
When I finally stopped trying to sabotage the whole thing, I told myself I would make the trip worth it (having fun, apparently, wasn’t a big enough reason) by looking for new vintage gems around Paris. It’s kind of a business trip, I told myself. Maybe I’ll even enroll in a short course at a local university to make the most out of this opportunity.
We ended up finding the tiniest flat in the heart of Le Marais, one of our favorite neighbourhoods in the city. All of its imperfections - the lack of natural light, the steep staircase, the peeling paint in the bathroom and the kitchen that was nothing more than a small closet - made it feel like home away from home. The streets surrounding it were beautiful, and we spent many afternoons exploring every corner. On the weekends, I visited flea markets and looked for new things for my store.
I launched the business as planned, and struggled with my French every time I went to the post office to ship an order. I learned that parisian drivers have no respect for crosswalks, liquid yogurt is impossible to find, and the pharmacies are heaven on earth for any skincare junkie. I fell in love with the city even more, and while I did miss everything I’d left back home, I was determined to have the best time in France.
Living in Paris meant being out of my comfort zone almost 24/7. I didn’t know more than three words in French, and most of the time I was exploring the city alone. At home in our flat, I faced a different kind of discomfort, trying to turn my first business attempt into a successful venture and failing constantly. I felt lost, helpless, homesick, but I learned to see Paris as a second home that pushed me to go beyond what felt comfortable, to move forward.
In March, we realised our three-month stay would have to be cut short due to the covid-19 pandemic. In less than 24 hours, we had gone from “we can stay put for a few more weeks” to “we have to leave tomorrow, otherwise we won’t be able to land in our country”. It was a sad, quick goodbye to France, and we were too stressed and too scared to even think about all the lovely memories we now had from those two months in Paris.
Looking back, there are many things I learned from leaving everything behind and moving to another country. I realised that some of the best moments in your life will probably happen when you feel a mix of fear and excitement, but decide to do it anyway. That most times, things don’t happen as we expect, and there’s not a lot to be done about it. And I learned not to question when life smiles at me and hands me an incredible opportunity- now, more than ever, I know these chances can’t be taken for granted.
Paris will always be the city that showed me how discomfort can give place to growth, but more than that, it was solid, physical evidence that amazing, perfect things can happen. Not because I’m worthy, but because I’m just here, alive, with an eye out looking for them.”
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To see more from Marta you can find her on Instagram at @litulla- if you’re a book addict we highly recommend giving her a follow! To read more of her words, you can find her website here: www.lutulla.com.