My Embarrassing Body

The impact of labels and irresponsible media coverage impacting health and identity

Words: Bethany Fulton

“I think many of us remember Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies. 

It was one of the most popular shows of the late noughties, featuring people from around the UK with health problems deemed as “embarrassing”. I never liked the idea of it, but as I was deep in my bookworm phase I never saw the first series to form an educated opinion. In 2008, I had the TV on in the background one evening and the show came on. I thought I’d leave it on and see what all the fuss was about. It was Season 2, Episode 7. 

That episode changed my life for the worse, with huge repercussions for my mental health, which I’m dealing with to this day. A man came on, with “an armpit literally rotting away”. He had a severe case of Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS) – the same condition I had been diagnosed with less than a year before.

His was an advanced case, but it gave me a glimpse into the worst-case scenario of the disease I had only just begun to process. One that would affect me for the rest of my life. HS is a serious, rare skin condition that causes sweat glands to become blocked and turn into painful abscesses. It principally affects the groin, underarm and beneath the bust, and while there are several known risk factors, the exact cause is unknown. A progressive disease that has no cure, and in some cases individuals become unable to walk.

As much as seeing the late stages of the disease was scary for me, the more insidious effect of the programme is one that I think others whose disease has been featured will relate to – the word ‘embarrassing’. I had never thought of those red bumps in my armpits and around my groin as embarrassing. 

Seeing my condition with that label changed my perception of it – and myself. All of a sudden I had something to be ashamed of and hide. I couldn’t watch the rest of the programme, because I couldn’t help but see my future self in that man who was so desperate for help that he was willing to be humiliated on national television.

I went from a teenage girl who was happy and confident in her body, aside from some minor weight concerns, to one who was obsessed with her image and staying covered up. For the first time, I really didn’t like my body. In fact, up until around that time I didn’t really think too much about it; my biggest concern used to be the fact that my boobs were bigger than I liked and were annoying whenever I was sprinting around the hockey pitch. Now, I was afraid when changing before P.E, going to great lengths to prevent anyone from seeing what looked like blood blisters in my armpits. I recognised that my condition was a very long way from the man on TV, but the realisation that one day someone might look upon my body with as much revulsion as the people on the show scared me. 

I was understandably afraid of rejection, and I avoided sex until I was in my twenties, so afraid was I of a boy pulling away in disgust.

But, the reality is that I really didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. The man in the show hadn’t been able to manage his condition at all, whereas I was lucky enough to receive an early diagnosis. I was in the very early stages and was unusually lucky that I received a diagnosis at all at the start. I owe a huge amount to my Mum for encouraging me to speak to a GP, and to that GP for recognising that this wasn’t just a bad case of ingrown hairs on my inner thigh and sending me to a top dermatologist – one who actually knew what HS was. I can’t tell you how many doctors and nurses I’ve had to teach about my own condition, something I’ve always found very frustrating.

But this article isn’t about the trials and tribulations of HS, it’s about the psychological impact of irresponsible television programming. Embarrassing Bodies had a hugely negative effect on my perception of my body. I’d like to think that TV these days is a little more sensitive, but without a doubt, there will be others out there negatively impacted by shows like this. 

The recent case of Steve Dymond, who killed himself after being on the Jeremy Kyle show springs to mind as an extreme example of irresponsible TV shows having real life negative effects on people- and let’s be honest, I could write a whole article on the irresponsible ethics of the Jeremy Kyle show. The doctors on Embarrassing Bodies may have had good intentions, and hoped to help people that truly needed medical attention while raising awareness, but the reality is that they called their bodies embarrassing, and the public felt enabled to call them disgusting. There were Daily Mail and The Sun pieces with sensationalist headlines (of course) and there are still playlists and Facebook groups that count down the “most disgusting Embarrassing Bodies episodes”.

I’m gradually growing to feel less ashamed of my body, but I still have a long way to go. Interestingly, the more I fretted and worried about my appearance, the worse I treated it. I eat too much and don’t exercise, leading me to gain weight, which in turn exacerbates my HS. Self-love is a journey I’ll be on for the rest of my life, and HS is just part of that. 

Embarrassing Bodies and shows like it are shameful television programming, and while I don’t judge the people who watch them – they are designed to be hard to look away from – I do cast judgement on the producers that signed them off. 

And, in 2019, my body is no longer something to be embarrassed by.”

If you think you might have Hidradenitis Suppuritiva, I would urge you to ask your GP for a referral to a dermatologist. If caught in the early stages the disease can be helped by various treatments and antibiotics, and managing the condition is much easier than if you should reach the later stages. 

Below are some links for more information about the condition and HS support.

NHS www.nhs.uk/conditions/hidradenitis-suppurativa

HS Trust: www.hstrust.org

HS Foundation (US-based): www.hs-foundation.org

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Thank you so much to Bethany for contributing such an honest and vulnerable piece which we’re sure will help so many in the community. You can find Bethany on Instagram at @bramblingbethany or via her website: www.bramblingblog.com.